...when love feels soft
As we discussed before, finding the right person to swipe right on is never an easy task. More often than not, it takes the average person at minimum 100+ swipes before they land on someone who is cute enough to swiped right on but not cute enough to actually hold a conversation with. But for Ebony, swiping right on Angela was more than her perfect match, it was her perfect decision.
Now less than a year after meeting for the first time, and deciding from that moment on to never be apart, not even a national pandemic could stop these two from legalizing their union. Yes, their recent wedding was just them, their love, their vows and their wedding officiate via Zoom.
Watch parts of LBH’s conversation of love with Angela and Ebony above or read it in full below:
How did you guys meet and was it love at first sight?
Ebony: We met on Tinder. The best swipe right in the world. I swiped right and slid in DMs.
Ebony: We were like on FaceTime and stuff, just talking, it wasn't even nothing like trying to date or nothing. Then we decided to link up. I was like, “I need to see you to make sure you're not a catfish.” Because these people would be catfishing and I had gotten catfished before. So, I ended up pulling up to her place.
So, the very first time you guys met, you went to her house? Where you afraid?
Ebony: [No] I had mace and everything. And I told her I don't play that so I'm just letting you know what I'm bringing here. But it's crazy because from going in like a homie, that's how I walked in the house, I can't even explain the connection and everything was so so strong. Kind of like how I’m starting to feel a rush right now. Maybe it's from talking about it, but it's just a strong connection.
Angela: Shout out Tinder.
Ebony: Yeah because we kissed and I don't even kiss people.
Angela: And [just like that] you were mine.
Ebony: Yeah, we've been together [since] and have seriously been inseparable.
How long have you guys been together?
Ebony: It's been a year, not very long.
Can you pinpoint the moment where you guys fell in love? Like for both of you guys? What was the moment where you're like: this is the one for me?
Ebony: Once I made a decision to stay at her house. I don't go to people places and stay. I do not do that. That's one thing about me, I don't go to people places to stay.
And I actually stayed.
Angela: I actually asked you [to stay] and people get on my nerves.
We were sitting there just vibing to my music and having a good time. Then I think we laughed at something and she touched my arm, and I felt it. That's when I knew I couldn't let her leave.
"When I met her that's when I started to experience the first of everything. It allowed me to bring my guard down and be able to blush endlessly and to be open to true love."
In what ways, do you guys love one another?
Angela: Every way. I can't explain a way that we don't love each other. We are best friends. Any moment that we're not committed to having to be at work or doing something other than work, we are together. We love each other in every single way. Like if something's going on and I'm not doing something right, she's telling me. Something I don't want to hear, she's telling me. And it's not just all the good stuff like how everybody thinks. Even the hard stuff, we are loving each other in that way, through everything.
And, in what ways do you love yourself while still loving her?
Ebony: The way I love myself is the same way that I love her, basically. I know that you can't love nobody else without loving yourself first. You can't give love if you don't have love to give. So, I take care of me the same way I'll take care of her that's how I know she’s everything. Because if you get the Ebony treatment and what I put into me, you everything. So, the way that I treat myself is how I treat her. And I love me, so I'm not going to hurt me. I'm not about to do anything to me that puts me down. And it’s the same way for her.
And that's what drives us and pushes us because we're kind of like that with one another. Our self-love reflects the love that we have for each other. The things that we do for ourselves, we do for each other and with each other. And that’s just the mentality it's been that. That's just how it is. Well, real love is how it is anyway.
What things about her do you still need to learn to love properly?
Ebony: I definitely need to learn to love her more when it comes to how she responds emotionally to things. She's more sensitive than I am. There are a lot of times where I say things and I know that it's coming from love, but because she is sensitive, she takes it differently. So sometimes I catch myself, you know, or try to think of a better way that I can say it or something like it.
Angela: [The] ways [we] communicate are totally different. She's more direct where I am more passive. I like to think through things and sit on it, I can sit on something for days. And she's the one that as soon as she feels something, she’s ready to talk
about it. So, that’s a way we probably need to learn to love each other properly, as far as our communication.
I see you guys do a lot of date night ins–how important is that quality time for your relationship?
Angela: You gotta romance. If you're not romancing your woman, somebody else's will do it. Somebody else will try to do it. What are you doing if you're not doing something special or making your partner feel like, okay, I thought of you, so I put my energy into doing this special little event, you know? Then it just makes your partner feel like, okay, you put this amount of energy into me. So, it means a lot to go on those little quarantine dates.
Ebony: And before quarantine.
Angela: Date night is a must. I like to keep it spicy.
Ebony: I like to look good for her.
Has the pandemic affected your relationship in any way? And is there such a thing as too much quality time with your partner?
Ebony: Is never too much time! Even before the pandemic this is how we worked. It's like, what pandemic, man? This is just us. The fact of the matter is, time, affection and communication are really the strongholds for any relationship. So, when it comes to just spending quality time, that is a must, you know? I feel like we're all humans who really just want that person to give us that time, give us that love, make us feel special and make us feel wanted. So even before the pandemic, we were home bodies [who only went out] when we were stepping out to romance each other. So, spending a lot of time together has been amazing. It's just what we do. The pandemic hasn’t changed anything.
I see you all recently got married! Congratulations! Was the wedding planned before COVID-19 shut the world down?
Ebony: Before [COIVD-19] we wanted to have a ceremony at a lake. It's a lake where they have the venue and everything done, and that's what we wanted it to be. But we couldn't do it due to the pandemic. Eventually we were just like, let's just do this. We want to be married and we want to be together at the end of the day. The lake is cool, the people are cool and the ceremony is cool, but we just need us. It's our vows, our life, and our marriage together. So, let's just do it through a zoom meeting.
But in a year from now, on our wedding anniversary, we're going to go to that lake and have a ceremony. We're going to do that for the family.
"She's helped me open up my eyes to the person that I can be and the person that I am becoming."
Who proposed to who? And how?
Angela: I did it. We were outside for a picnic date night with lights everywhere. I got little sparklers and rings for us to exchange; and then I asked her to be my wife. Neither one of us had experienced a proposal before so it was a big thing for the both of us. And a little scary [for me]. Not scary to where I felt like she was going to say no, because I know she loved me and I know she wanted to be with me, but I was a little scared doing it because I'm not an outgoing person.
Ebony: I didn't think that I was going to be proposed to. We were already talking about getting married, so I was just like, well we will get married then.
Angela: I had to be cliché and do a proposal.
And what about honeymoon plans? Are you guys going to do something during quarantine? Or are you guys going to try to do like a big trip once we all can start traveling again?
Ebony: I don't believe in honeymoons. We honeymoon every day, before marriage and after marriage. We are already honeymooning. But we're going to travel together. We'll take trips while being married and just have fun. But I won’t call it a honeymoon, I'm not a traditional person.
Angela: I want to honeymoon for the rest of my life.
Ebony: Ooh I like that.
Were any of your family or friends shocked that you guys got married so quickly?
Angela: They were just like “Alright! When?” Everybody was so supportive it was crazy. We were all already family so the marriage just secured the deal with the government.
What about the future? What will life after quarantine look for you all?
Ebony: I'm not having any babies. [Laughs] The thing is I actually already have two children, and we are already in a house. Our focus right now is to stack this paper and travel. We are doing everything to where there's no kind of debt. So, I’ve been like, babe, let’s knock these student loans and car notes out to where we literally don't owe anybody anything.
Angela: Next step is to save up, get these kids to college, out the house and travel.
Ebony: The plan is to travel, retire and then travel some more.
How has the quarantine been for you guys with the kids in the house? Have you guys had to take on even more roles outside of being parents and employees?
Ebony: Yeah. Now I'm a principal, a teacher, a nurse, a coach, an art teacher, a music teacher; and I'm definitely waiting on a check from teacher's appreciation week. [Laughs] She's been essential, so I work at home and do the homeschooling. But we are blessed, we both still got income coming in, everybody is healthy and safe, so I can't even complain.
"The things that we do for ourselves, we do for each other and with each other. And that’s just the mentality it's been that. That's just how it is. Well, real love is how it is anyway."
Okay last question, what does loving her feel like?
Angela: Loving Ebony feels like everything, not that I've been missing, but everything that I've been wanting from a partner. She's helped me open up my eyes to the person that I can be and the person that I am becoming. Loving Ebony just feels like Angela is loving Angela more. Because in order for me to love Ebony more, I have to love myself more or she ain't having it.
Ebony: For me, she brings out the soft little girl in me. When I met her that's when I started to experience the first of everything. It allowed me to bring my guard down and be able to blush endlessly and to be open to true love.
I always felt like a lot of times nobody had me, but me. You know? And when you feel like that, it’s how you just carry yourself. It was kind of hard to let people in, to give them an opportunity, I guess, to really soften you up or not even allow for the softer side of you to show. But her natural spirit, like her nature, it's so soft and genuine.
So, she just brought it all out. I'm serious. Like that's what makes me teary thinking about it because, you get someone who keeps you where you supposed to be and you don't have to question it or ever feel like you're less than or anything other than that. The power of love is, it's amazing. You know? And I never thought in life I would be soft.
The way she talked to me, the way she handled me with care, like she handled me like I'm glass and you sitting me down very gentle and fragile. I've never had that. I needed that. You know, that caressing and that softness, and that's her. That's her all the way. That's my angel.
Written by: Kee Simone, LBH Editor-in-Chief (@thebaddiegalore)