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Queerfishing: Does Your Partner Really Like You?

Photo credit: Book Riot

Everyone is insecure in their relationship at some point or another. Insecurity is a common and relatable human trait with nothing to be ashamed of, but it's good to keep in mind that some of our insecurities stem from a level of observations and truth. How do we really know when someone likes us without explicit proof?

Queerfishing, or queerbaiting, is something we often hear referred to in media--”X show is queer baiting us with these characters”, or something of the like. However, it’s not often we think about it in terms of our relationships. Urban dictionary explains queerfishing--queer fisher--as someone who acts gay (or queer) but isn’t. Saying things like, “I’m gay for x celebrity.” is an example of queer fishing.

Sometimes, we have to ask ourselves, does our partner like us? Are they queerfishing us? And how do we know?

The first step is to ask them. Be upfront about your feelings in the relationship, about them, and what gives you the doubt that they might not truly like you, or romantically like you. Every relationship concern or issue should be talked out to the best of your ability as people and a couple.

If asking them doesn’t give you the answer or closure that you both need to solidify the feelings, seeking counseling may help. Talking to a relationship therapist or counselor can add relationship clarification for both of you when it comes to your feelings, needs, and wants in regard to your relationship.

Explore yourself and your options. While breaking up, or “taking a break” may not be an ideal solution for anyone, it could give you both a chance to reevaluate your feelings about each other and the relationship. It could turn out that your partner does have romantic feelings for you, but maybe they aren’t ready for a relationship, or you aren’t ready. It’s important to know yourself and what you want and need as an individual, before as a partner. Loving someone and being with them isn’t a cure-all.

Written by: Sammy B.


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