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No matter the stage or length of the relationship a breakup is a hard time to live through for all parties involved. There’s often a lot of hurt feelings, questioning and the need to find oneself once again when a couple parts ways.
Everyone moves on from a breakup differently, there is no right or wrong way to do so, but sometimes we all need a little push to move forward, be it from those around us, or with just some ideas on how to take the first step. Mourn the loss of your relationship as long as you need to, but remember there is so much more than what you had with that partner and you are more than who you perceived yourself to be with them. You are an amazing individual with so much potential, but you just need to find yourself again, and you will.
Here are some ways to do that:
Allow yourself to mourn the relationship
It’s okay to be sad about the breakup and the loss of your partner regardless of how long you all had been together. Letting yourself be sad over something that deeply affects you is a great way to process it, and learn how to move on from it without having any hard or lingering feelings around it. Even if it wasn’t a healthy relationship, there was still something that once tied you to the person you were dating, and mourning the partnership the two (or more) of you once had is a step towards finding your peace.
Embrace things that you enjoy
Sometimes we put things that are uniquely our own on hold when in a relationship; a hobby, spending time with others, or even basic things like reading books. There isn’t any rhyme or reason why this happens, it just does—or maybe you just spent less time on them once you started your partnership to spend more time with them; which is also totally fine. Embracing those activities or hobbies you enjoy could be a great way to help you work through that post breakup slump. Doing so can remind you that there is more to you and the world, than your previous partner.
Take yourself out on dates
It’s often shamed to just enjoy your own company and doing things with yourself, for yourself, especially after a breakup. But a great way to find who you are again would be to just take yourself out on dates. Go to that museum, see that movie, have a picnic in the park. Sometimes your best date is a date with yourself. Sometimes being able to eat things you like or enjoy the nice weather can be a great pick me up. Breakups can sometimes mess with our perception of ourselves and alter the way we think about our own value. Reclaiming that and being able to just enjoy your own company or doing something for yourself, by yourself, is an awesome way to combat that. Spoil yourself a little, you deserve it!
Reach out to friends and loved ones
As cliché as it might sound, your support system is a great way to find that peace again—they were with you before your relationship and are with you after it (I would hope). It’s a great time to embrace the love and support they have for you and to strengthen those bonds. Plan a weekend together, a trip if you can, and just forget about the problems and enjoy some time together. For a bonus, make sure that all talk of your breakup and your ex-partner is off limits if possible. Airing out your grievances about it is good, but we can fall into that habit, And it makes it harder to move on from the relationship. Taking time with others where you don’t talk about them or think about them—to the best of your ability—would be a good step in moving on.
Written by: Samantha Benjamin-Nolan