I do, You do, We do: How to Incorporate Personal Goals Into Your Relationship


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The new year is already in motion, but don’t feel too down if you’ve been a bit stagnant. Time is relative, move at your own pace. A good place to start, however, is with a vision for 2020 that includes establishing and maintaining healthy goals. Though it all sounds simple enough, it can be overwhelming just to outline one month of your life, let alone twelve.


So, let’s get you on track! Pull out one of your notebooks and start with these two steps.


Step 1: Start with the big picture because it gives your life direction. This is essentially a combination of your dreams, envisioning the life you want to live, and how the upcoming year should look. Focus on the non-negotiable activities in your days, weeks, and months. This can be a brain dump that acts as the “purpose” of your year.


Step 2: Set your goals by asking “what do I have time, money, energy, knowledge, and network to start working on right now?” Keep your mindset idealistic but realistic. Give yourself checkpoint dates to hold yourself accountable to those goals; in your planner, on your phone, on a sticky note on your mirror, wherever! Just make sure you set up time to have an internal team meeting about your progress.


Even when everything in your life is going right, it can be difficult to manage the vision. Now add a relationship in the mix and your goals can become skewed, neglected or dumped all together. And when you break promises to yourself, you’ll find it’s easy to be unreliable in multiple areas in your life. So how do you add 1 relationship + x amount of goals and it equate to a healthy and prosperous year? I’ll give you two words: communication and accountability. It’s wildly attractive of a person to approach their partner and say:


“I made some goals for myself, I’d love for you to share some of yours so we can plan together.”


This is especially important if you’re spending almost everyday with someone. It is absolutely imperative that you both become each other's accountability buddy.


The best way to be a great accountability buddy is by creating a space to do so.

This could look like etching out a designated time when you’re together to remain intentional about your goals. In order for any type of relationship to thrive, it must evolve as we do as people. Replacing an activity you typically do as a couple with new ones that align with your goals is the key. It’s a beautiful sign that you both are moving and growing in the same direction. There’s no need to keep your lover, friends, or family members on the outskirts of the blossoming new person that is emerging inside of you.


Written by: Nhandi Jackson (@empressnhans)