Photo Credit: Shutterstock
If you are a hopeless romantic, you might want to close this window, because the things you are about to read in this post will leave your romantic idealistic views in complete shambles. Contrary to your unrealistic beliefs, not every partner you end up with is the one for you. And nine times out of ten, you are just simply ignoring those glaring red flags that have been telling you to run because you just so desperately want every relationship to work. I know, I know, that was harsh. But if no one else is going to tell you, we will. It wasn’t bad timing that killed your connection–they were just the wrong person.
A person that is not for you will show you through the patterns of their actions every single time. And the ability to recognize patterns is what allows you to separate your idealistic views of her sometimes chivalrous ways from the actual truth of her patterns.
So, what are some common red flags that you absolutely should not ignore?
She’s always the victim and never a part of the problem. No one is a perfect partner and we have all at times failed to properly show up in our relationships. Be weary if she can’t admit that to herself and to you.
The future pump fake. Is she always talking about the things that you all will do together or the life you all will live in the future but doesn’t actually take the steps to make it happen? It can be something as small as promising to take you on a date and just never doing it. Girl, stop wasting your time. People who can’t keep little promises definitely cannot keep the bigger ones.
If she lies to them, she will lie to you. If your partner is constantly lying to the folks around her unprovoked, please be very alarmed. A person who just lies for sport and about things that are not worth lying about is not a person that should be trusted. And a lot of time we excuse certain behavior as long as it doesn’t directly affect us. But eventually it will.
No, you are not overreacting like she claims. Someone calling you crazy or telling you your very real feelings are not valid because they don’t agree with them is not true love–it’s gaslighting. If you ever find yourself questioning not only your self worth but the reality you are living in and your sanity–you are more than likely being manipulated and controlled in the worst possible way.
She is always “trying”. Honesty, clear communication and quality time are entry level relationship requirements.These are the things that should be given to you before you even say yes to being her girlfriend. So, someone who is always telling you they are “trying” to love you the way you are asking instead of just doing it, is someone who is not trying at all.
You are her #1 cheerleader but she can’t even bother to show up to your games. Someone who doesn’t truly show interest in your life but requires you show interest in hers is not the right partner for you. Genuine support goes both ways and should be shown by both partners.
So how can you avoid these romantic missteps in the future? Start doing a better job at trusting your intuition, gut or whatever keeps you centered. If you feel like something is off, it probably is. And more importantly, stop ignoring those red flags. They are being thrown in front of your face for a reason and should not be taken lightly.